Valentine’s Day?

Hearts by ButterflySha via Flickr.com

It has come to my attention that Valentine’s Day is fast approaching.

I made the mistake of turning down the candy aisle at Wal-Mart, where I found half of the aisle’s candy in bubblegum pink crates with hearts, teddy bears, and Cupid’s arrows all over the packaging. I miraculously managed to prevent my last three meals from gracing the floor of Wal-Mart.

Then I came home to my apartment to find plastic decal stickers covering every mirror, clock face, and window on the first floor. This may not have been so disturbing if they were not of Mickey and Minnie Mouse surrounded by hearts, holding hands, and gazing into each other’s eyes. There were also pink lace hearts on every kitchen cabinet.

I understand and respect that some people, whether they are single or in a relationship, enjoy Valentine’s Day. I just happen to not be one of them. Regardless, I think it is necessary to throw out some solid Valentine’s Day ideas for those of you who will not be sobbing in “The Vow” or hand feeding chocolate covered strawberries to your sweetheart.

• Do not wallow on your couch all night.
• Do not watch romance movies alone.
• Call your mom and wish her a Happy Valentine’s Day.
• Go speed dating in Strozier Library. (This is surprisingly not a joke. It is actually happening on Valentine’s Day.)
• Bake something delicious and shamelessly demolish the entire thing.
• Hallmark holidays are great opportunities to brighten someone’s day. The other day, my sorority sisters and I made Valentine’s Day cards for local hospital patients. Go hand out Big Macs to homeless people or drop canned food off at a food bank. Do something selfless.
• Seize the day at your local bar.

Have a Happy Valentine’s Day!